If you want to be free in life, you need to understand life.
If you want to understand life, you need to STOP DOING and look at life.
If you want to look at life and understand it, you also need to understand where you are looking from.
Where is that? Where are you looking from? What or who is doing the looking? What is it like?
To answer this, you need to look within.
To look within, you need to close your eyes and look inwards.
What can you really see by looking inwards?
There is nothing to see.
Don’t imagine something. That is not the same thing.
If you are imagining something, you are doing, you haven’t stopped.
Close your eyes and look inwards.
How old are you?
I am 42 years old.
Stopping imagining for me is like asking a train that has been moving for 42 to years to stop suddenly!
But allow yourself to stop imagining.
Now…. What can you really see by looking inwards?
There is nothing to see.
You will find nothing to see.
So What is left? …
You will finding sensing.
You will notice things being sensed.
What is being sensed?
A taste in the mouth?
A feeling of warmth?
The subtle feeling of touch as air is coming and going?
Are these sensations you?
Are they the heart of the experience?
Or is there something else?
You are no longer looking at something, you are feeling it.
Go past the feelings and find out what is there.
Listen to the sounds.
Notice that they are appearing in silence.
Notice the sense of silence within which all sounds are arising.
What is there?
What is there now? What is here now? What is in company with the silence?
Witnessing . Experiencing . Curiosity
Forget for a moment.
Be desperately curious to approach this place from where sensing is happening.
What else is there now?
Perhaps there are thoughts.
Perhaps there are thoughts, strings of words with meaning-feeling.
Perhaps words likes “what am I…. what is there listening to the sounds and the silence?”
Notice these word-string-meanings.
Are they doing themselves?
Are you doing them?
Are they part of the residual momentum of doingness of the past 42 years (or whatever)?
Or are you deliberately doing them now?
Who is behind these sensations, these thoughts?
What is behind the sound of silence?
What is behind the non-thinking-mind?
Witnessing . Experiencing . Curiosity
What is this witnessing?
What is this experiencing?
What is this subtle curiosity?
Where is it?
What is needed for it to appear?
What needs to disappear in order for curiosity to vanish?
You are sitting.
You are in physical stillness.
Your mind has become less active.
Doing is calming down.
Imagination has softened and is slowing down.
There are moments, instants of witnessing.
For a moment now.
Allow me to guide you deep into the silence.
Allow me to guide you beyond the silence.
Allow me to guide you into nothingness.
In order to do this you must trust me 100%
In order to follow me into nothingness you must follow me!
In order to follow me you must come with me.
I am asking you to follow me somewhere.
I am asking you to DO something.
I am asking you to allow your creativity to express itself in the most subtle way possible.
Are you ready?
Before you come with me, please relax.
Please trust me.
Keeping this quietness.
Keeping this stillness.
Imagine that you are awake.
Imagine that you are perfectly awake.
But you are in a dark space.
You cannot see anything, imagine anything. You cannot move anything.
You cannot hear anything. Not even the sound of your own breath.
You cannot feel anything. Not even the sensation of your own breath.
You cannot taste nor smell anything.
You cannot feel anything. Nothing to feel. Nothing to sense.
And you cannot even think anything. Not a single meaning-word-string.
What is left?
What are you at this point?
What did you find? :
Right now I am noticing that I am Awareness. Beingness. Aliveness.
But there is no experiencing other than this.
Nothing other than I-I-ness.
Awareness of awareness and nothingness.
I am noticing that here, Beingness-Awareness-Aliveness is on the one hand complete.
And I am also noticing that Beingness-Awareness-Aliveness is also curios.
I notice that this curiosity has a very subtle desire.
It wants to experience something other than nothingness.
So there is Pure Awareness
And there is Curiosity
. . .
OK. Now. Relax all effort.
Be 100% natural.
Be 100% open.
Be 100% relaxed.
Return to the natural normal state that you are familiar with…
What is there now? What is appearing? What is here? What is over there?
I am here too now. I have been doing this with you.
I have not completely stopped doing.
But I have slowed down.
I can say that reality in this moment has the following ingredients:
- Beingness . Awareness . Curiosity… and
- Things appearing in awareness like :
- A sense of Oneness. Expansion. Connectedness. Bliss. Aliveness. Joy…
- Thoughts like: “what the fuck am I doing this for now?”
- Emotions like: desire to do, desire to live, to move, to create
- Sensations like: feelings of stiffness in my joints, mild hunger.
- and with open eyes: I can see my body, your body, other things.
And I am noticing that of all these aspects of this present moment feel very real.
Everything that is appearing in awareness looks and feels real.
I am also realising that they all depend on one thing…
Without awareness they would not be in appearance.
Not to me.
Without awareness, I am nothing.
So…. What am I?
At my most essential, I am awareness!
And as awareness, I am free.
Awareness wants nothing.
Awareness has everything.
Awareness has the sum total of the experience.
Awareness as pure curiosity is the cause of experience.
Awareness cares not for the content of the experience.
It simply wants to experience.
And there is nothing that is outside of experience.
Even the experience of nothing is an experience for awareness.
Even deep sleep and death, both forms of nothingness, appear in awareness.
As you emerge from a moment of deep sleep or a moment of so-called “non-awareness”, notice how there is a sense of beingness that is carried over?
So you want to be free? You want to understand life?
First find out the answers to this question:
Who will experience freedom?
What will experience freedom?
Maybe you will do this.
Maybe you will get stuck somewhere.
For example, you might find that there is a thought-stream with this dialogue:
“Alex is stuck. He wants to make music all day, but he can’t. Because Alex has so many responsibilities. Alex has to do this and that. Alex has no time left to do what he wants. To make more music. So Alex is not free. Not free to do what he wants. Not free to make music. So Alex is stuck”
OK. Fine. This is part of what is being experienced.
This feeling of Alex-Free-Will-Stuckness is appearing in awareness.
Awareness is not stuck.
What appears as being stuck is not awareness.
Awareness is experiencing a willfull-mental-emotional entity called “stuckness”.
But to awareness, this is just as interesting, just as alive, just as satisfying as its opposite: the experiencing of a willfull-mental-emotional entity called “freedom”.
The real freedom is found here…
It is found by realising that you are:
More than body.
More than energy.
More than emotion.
More than thought and meaning.
More than a sense of truth.
More than oneness.
More than joy.
More than attention (the direction of awareness).
You are the awareness that all of these are appearing in.
This is your true self.
It is this awareness.
And it is everything that is appearing in awareness.
Realising this may not change much in terms of your current behaviour.
You may appear to be much the same to others.
Because the parts of you that are appearing in awareness appear to have their own needs.
They have their own agenda.
So awareness has nothing to do with this.
Awareness simply lets it all happen:
- Bodily needs like food, hunger, warmth.
- Sensational needs like sensuality, sexuality.
- Emotional needs like feeling power, belonging, love etc.
- Rational-intellectual needs like the need to understand, to find truth, to express your individuality, points of view.
- Bliss-body needs like seeking the experience of unlimited oneness, unlimited love, freedom from dualistic suffering etc.
And in this sense.
You and I are already realised.
All that we have to do is to sit.
Sit and notice what is happening.
Notice what is happening.
What is happening.
Who is it all really happening to?
So we are realised.
And yet the DOINGNESS of all these years has gained so much momentum
We no longer notice the wood for the trees.
So how about we stand back a little.
Step by step.
Let’s do this together.
Moment by moment.
Let us :
Again and again.
Until we feel the grip of our Little Selfs relaxing into the oneness of our Big Self : Pure awareness. Pure love.